The Slow Boat to Mexico

So the slow boat to China has begun her long and fateful journey.  Our new big white Buie Lesabre has got us here to Mexico in one piece. Our trip began with a couple days in beautiful Seattle. We bought a car on our 2^nd ay in America. We started off with a busy schedule to keep, and wasted no time in getting a hold of Buie, which we got for a steal in the end – 1200 and legit from a couple of Mexicans at a dealership.

       That afternoon we got her on the road, on down to Portland at nightfall, a bit of a stroll around three blocks, saw nothing too interesting except for a statue made of push-bikes, before heading across to the coast. We hit the seaside town of Seaside sometime in the gloomy night and found a place near the beach where we parked our new home. We drank wine on the beach in celebration.  We woke the next day and had a stroll around lovely Seaside, before beginning a beauty couple of days of coasting down the 101, through all those sleepy waterfront towns and beautiful headlands and unreal rocks and beaches along the way between Seaside and the Golden Gate Bridge. Picked up a couple of hitchhikers along the way to return the favour for getting out of BC, which we did pretty well in the end, truth be told. 2 days between Kelowna and Vancouver, with a long night of walking and sleeping in orchards. Good rides the whole way. Next to no waiting. Signs are way better than thumbs. 

So, we decided to rest our weary bones in SF for a short while. We spent a day wandering and digging it, making it out to Haight-Ashbury for a successful mission, which was followed by a prolonged period of pretty much doing nothing for an extended period of time, which was great, and long overdue. Just a cheeky chew on a chewsdy, watching the trains go by into the night on a wicked windy start to Wednesday cooped up in our big boat on Hyde Street. San Fran is a gorgeous place.

After one more day of walkabouts and drinking lazily watching girls in parks of San Francisco, we were tired from the hills and the general craziness of the place. We woke up in our boat sweaty, hungover and filthy and knew it was time to go South. Without further ado we revved up the old inboard and kicked the old boat out onto the highway through the golden hills and coastlines of California, all the way down the line to that big ol’ promised land; that gritty, smoggy wasteland that is Los Angeles, California. 

On our arrival we checked into a rather cheap and really quite nice hostel in Inglewood. Dr. Dre was right: Inglewood is rough. We stayed a couple of nights in the hostel there. Mostly I stayed poolside and tried to sort out my life while Mikie went to Universal Studios. I managed to lose my ATM card in San Francisco, which had to be remedied as soon as possible. So I had no money in LA, but at least I got to relax. We did have a few beers on the second night, and possibly I overdid it, but that was LA. All i saw of the city was on the drive-by on our way out to Las Vegas the next day. Sunset Strip and Hollyood be damned. Mikie seemed to have had a good day out there, though. 

Next thing we knew we were growling off into the desert, along that Bat-Country route of Hunter’s, through shithole Barstow and Baker and red rocks and shrubs and not much else before a long descent through the sands into the unexplainable mirage of gambling and smut called Las Vegas, Nevada. We checked into a wierd hostel named after some kind of sexual cat, which was right between a strip-club and a rock & roll tattoo parlour, across the road from a place where you can get married by Elvis; Old Vegas. We dropped our bags off and set to walking. And man, did we do some walking.

We first walked into a place to get a cheap pizza buffet for dinner, watching sullen gamblers drinking and playing virtual roulette. No excitement in winning, sad faces. We then hit the Strip, Las Vegas Boulevard, towards the lights and casinos of New Vegas. Past the Stratosphere, a huge spire in the cut of a spaceship, where people were bungee jumping from the towering roof, and further on to the Circus Circus, where we watched the Argentinean flying trapeze and roamed through the casino madness and  incredible theme park. Las Vegas is a mental place, as we walked further into town we were handed pocketfuls of smut cards offering cheap deals with whores with names like Brandy, Alyssa... Faith? The power bills of that Neon Babylon must be through the roof as well; but they certainly know how to throw down some entertainment, that’s for sure. 

On the streetside of the Treasure Island casino we were witness to an extravagant and impressive pirate show, complete with singing numbers, splashing water,  huge explosions. We wandered though the pink and tacky Flamingo, we walked and walked and walked until we couldn’t be bothered with walking any more, and then we walked home. I liked Las Vegas, glad I didn’t spend much money there, but it is an exciting and attractive place for sure.

After a good night’s sleep we got up and on the move, asked directions to the Grand Canyon. On the move again; this time trough the Mars-like cliffs of Arizona, past signs for Death Valley and such places. Then on through rocky plateaus and landscapes I cannot describe, all beautiful, all day, until we finally reached the gate to the national park: discovering that they wanted a fee of 25 dollars for the privilege of seeing it. This was a bummer, as dollars are many pesos. It was drawing towards nighfall anyhow, so we parked the car in the bush not far from the entryway and made camp while we mulled over the possibilities of tomorrow. There were half-hearted ideas to sneak in on foot and hitchhike the remaining distance, etc., but we didn’t. Mikie was rather deterred by the fact that he had originally thought that the Grand Canyon was a huge meteorite crater, and didn’t want to see a river (nevermind how grand), while I just didn’t want to pay the 25 bucks. We decided to go down to Mexico instead, cutting a southbound line through the cacti and dust and sweltering heat of Arizona, through Phoenix, and out... Shame we never got to check out New York and the East, but money was burning too fast already. Throught Phoenix, and out...

So stay tuned for tales of the “Free Zone”, Guadalajara and Agoonygoogoo, soon! Mexico, muy bien!

Bush craziness... sweet, sweet Jesus beams

Well troops, sorry about the long long time off the radar. Bush livin’ has left me a little pressed for time and energy, I tell you what. So, how to even begin to fill you in on the last four months in the bush, and the plans for the road ahead; given that I’m within a month of leaving Canada and heading on that long-time-coming southbound adventure?

It’s been a serious experience, living in a tent for the last four months. The first two months of my time out here in the Ontario bush were spent planting trees. It’s a seriously hard way to earn coin, at 8.5 cents a tree, but it is what it is. All the more reason to stick more of spruce trees in the muck, anyways. There was definitely a competitive side to it as well, it even felt more like a professional sport than a job at times: the van rides on the way to the block every morning with the crew; everyone going through their morning rituals, pulling on boots, duct-taping everything. After work, numbers were called out. The emphasis on numbers brought in a real sense of competition. Everyone has someone they wanted to beat on a daily basis, not in the least ourselves and our old P.B.’s. In the end, I wound up doing pretty well at it. I planted 68000 trees, with a personal best of 3400 in one day.

                Camp life was great, too. By the end of it we had become a pretty tight-knit little family/community. Every weekend we’d have our booze nights around the campfire, shit would go down, everybody had a time. We were well fed, and all of us would go through the same shit every day, which made life a little easier. At times, it was hell out here, though. Between the bugs and the exertion of the job itself and the pushing everything to the limit and the isolation of the bush, shit oftentimes got pretty rough. Especially the time it rained for eight days without break. By about day 4 of that spell, everything that everybody owned was soaked, people were sleeping in puddles in their tents (myself included), everybody was cold and miserable. And then, on the eight day, the rain turned to snow. Quite a few people left after that. And that was the end of may. No more than three days later it began to get hot. The snow that brought the summer on. Only in Canada.

                I had plenty of wildlife encounters, as well. Bear cubs, wolf cubs, a cougar, many bears, a few moose, I caught a salamander in a swamp, owls and rabbits, etc. By far the best animal encounter for me was on my birthday. Immediately following a rowdy “Happy Birthday to You”, a huge moose ran out onto the road in front of the van and just stared pegging it u the road in front of us, running away from us along the road. It was crazy.

After planting finished up at the end of June, those of us who were staying on to do thinning (less than half of us) had a week off to do whatever we wanted before going back out to the bush for some more punishment. I went with my buddies Marek and Artur to Montreal. It was pretty much a bender, Montreal is great. The Jazzfest was on, Canada day was on – although it was pretty much hijacked by the Spanish, after their Eurocup win. But, after a five days of drinking, dancing, pigs on spits (food!), and just great times with great people in a great city, it was time to get on back to the bush.

Our next job was thinning. This basically consisted of going out into older planting pieces with a big brushcutter saw and mowing down the competition surrounding the existing crop trees. A substantially more dangerous line of work than planting ( a German guy named Mike had a bad fall and chopped two of his fingers off), but actually pretty fun once you got in the swing of it – charging around and dropping poplars and balsams left, right, and centre. The pay was a little better than planting, too. Paid this time by the hectare cleared. 

And so, after two months of that shenanigans, the time has come to get on the road again. I am now on my way across to Kelowna to catch up with Mikie, who I’ve not seen in four months, and hopefully doing a couple of weeks work to buffer out the hip pocket before beginning the long and dusty trail down south. I’ve said my goodbyes to Calgary, my little home away from home, and I’m just about to the end of my solo road for some time. I’m really looking forward to seeing my bro and doing some gin-soaked brainstorming about the whole thing because, as yet, we’re rather short on plans of action and whatnot, but these things will open up as it comes. The butterflies of movement are well and truly back in business.  Party on, Wayne.

Don't feed the Bears

So, here I am again perched at the beginning of a new chapter, at the eve of another leap into the unknown. Mikie’s gone back to the Hat, and I’ve spent my last days in Calgary with my friends. The last month has been full to the bream.

I spent a full month in Medicine Hat, Alberta – a small town, about the size of Armidale – building huge power-towers. The work basically involved piecing steel together with bolts; working  out in a field for 12 hours of a day, six days a week.  The days were long and tedious: lifting steel and tightening bolts in fields, but the pay was good and plenty of overtime to be had. Me and Mikie made the most of it anyways, with a few good adventures and a couple of rowdy pub crawls, a skate and a hitch, putt-putt golf, and hitting fastballs in the batting cages out of town.

At the beginning of last week, after work shut down for a week due to lack of steel, Isaac hitched out to meet up with us for a camping trip down to the lovely Cypress Hills National Park, down on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan. The park has the highest concentration of cougars in the world, so nights were a little on edge haha. It was an old makeshift kind of trip, which saw us take a couple of long hikes, suck baked beans and eggs off “rock-plates”, and lying on our back blowing out at the beauty of the Northern Lights. We drank so much Whisky that Mikie fell in the creek. Chipmunks and muskrats never stop working, and eagles fly high. It was a beauty out there.

After two nights out there we went back to good old Calgary for a couple of days for Yazid’s send-off party before he left Calgary on Saturday for a job up in Fort Mac.—a job “trading futures” for an oil company, straight out of uni. He’s landed a really sweet job, and he deserves it. He’s a hard working dude and a fucking legend to boot. A couple of other parties were had as well with most of my mates from Calgary (except for the Best Western boys, which I’m spewing about). Dunno if I’ll be back that way again… it was a sad old day packing my bags today, thinking about all those people and times. Calgary’s been my home. I loved it there; but a town’s only as good as the people in it.

But anyways, now I’m in Ottawa, On-ta-Rio. Arrived at midnight and found myself a comfy lounge, so I’m going to spend the night. Tomorrow I’ll have a scoot around and check the place out, even if I only have a day here. First thing Tuesday I go out to the bush to begin a couple of months of tree-planting. Going to be living out in the wild in Northern Ontario in a tent and getting off the grid for a bit. There’s money to be made if I’m good enough, too; but at 8 or 9 cents a tree I’ll be earning my bloody money, sure enough.

Meanwhile, Mikie’s gone back to stick it out for a little while longer in Medicine Hat, before maybe going back to BC in June to do a few months cherry picking. He’s got an interview tomorrow and is from the “cherry capital of Australia” (Young); so he should be a shoe-in.

After that, who know’s what’s going to happen or when we’re going to go… depends what happens in the next two months or so… Anyways, off grid I go, starting Tuesdy. Look after yourselves!

A change of plans, a whiff of spring.

 "All energy flows according to the whims of the great magnet." 
                                                                                          

Sorry all, for the long hiatus. Life's been a little topsy-turvy, for the last few months... I've barely been able to make heads or tails of it, at times. So, I guess a quick recap of the last couple of months is warranted. I've been shacked up pretty cozily in my little house in Calgary, for the most part, and working at the Best Western, which really has been a killer little job. Free food more often than not, an awesome crew, and free pints after work. Pay's pretty shitty, but it keeps the bills taken care of. Been working on my book, too. It's a big job: the first draft was quite shitty.

       In the meantime I've been searching pretty hard for a job on the oil fields. A bit of bad luck, a bit of bad timing, and a liberal dash of lack of motivation pretty much put me out of contention for that, now. I've just about given up on the idea. The whole time I was involved in that infernal hunt it just felt like I was swimming upstream. A whole lot of flailing and splashing about, and all the while going backwards with the tide. I think I was in it for the wrong reasons, anyways.

       I did go up to Edmonton to take another look, have one last real go at it; but things kept not happening. The peak season is coming to a close, and the majority of remaining job spots are going to people who are on rigs that are closing down for the thaw. I finally landed a chance at a drug test/physical, but I got hopelessly lost trying to find the place I was meant to take it at. I ended up just pulling the car over and thinking, "Fuck it, I've had it. I give up." No use fighting the universe.

       Mikie came to Edmonton a couple of days later. We had ourselves a time, did some thinking, did some drinking, wandered for a few days; before deciding to pull up stumps on Edmonton. Mikie's in no rush to leave Canada, especially considering that he just got here and likes it here. He's got a work permit as well, so he might as well make good use of it. So our planned trip into the South is going to be off to a later start than previously imagined, but that's fine by me. Takes the pressure off a bit, anyway. I can stay in Calgary, where I'm happy, in a good home, and amongst good friends. Take my time, earn money doing something a little less perilous for my health and the Earth. Plus I get to hang around for spring, which is a bonus. Maybe take in the Stampede. 100th anniversary -- going to be wild, they say.

       Anyhow, I've been back in Calgary for about 5 days now, and I'm on the search for a good labouring job. May as well face it, I'm a labourer. Some carpentry would be nice. Going to stay with Best Western, too. Few nights a week to pay the bills and feed myself, and a day job to stash and save. Anyway, the pressures off (a little), so I'm already feeling better. Maybe I'll go out to B.C. and plant some trees... come what may.

Christmas Everyday

Season's greetings, one and all. Well, I tell you: the last few weeks, matter of fact my whole time in Calgary (and Canada), has been magical. I've had the best of luck imaginable. Working hard, I've been, too. Two jobs, some long hours and money coming back in. My car, the mighty goose is now registered and insured and on the road; still not paid-for entirely, as yet, though that day will come. She's a bloody ripper, too.
       I was living under the roof for a while of Isaac Hill and Yazid, awesome people and good times. Really good base camp. Then the landlady found out about me and I had to get out of there. Then, as by chance I met some people, who's first words to me were "Hello friend, do you happen to like organic vegetables?" I said, "Sure," Then we all went and pillaged the bins out the back of a greengrocer's store caleed Planet Organic. Found so much fresh stuff: mangoes, tomatoes, yams and avocados, etc., etc. A rainbow of stuff mad to waste. Then we went to their place, just up the street from Isaac & Yazid's, and had a big cookoff and drank some wine and mead. It was the day after I finished up my sewers-work with BB Services.
       It just so turned out that they had a room available, and, after I had gone back to Edmonton and picked up the goose, I moved on in. It's been an awesome time with these guys, too. Kindred spirits and good people. They eat well and even made up their own batch of cider, which we bottled and partook of the other night. I guess you could say we're all on the hippy side of things. It's been good to tap back into this way of life -- especially before I go up and get into the oilfields in the newyear.
       All kinds of other craziness has been happening as well, like winning a $250 flight voucher to anywhere at my work christmas party at the Best Western. It's just been ridiculous and ever-humbling. I must be doing something right, I tell you. Going for a weekend away at the mountain of Revelstoke for New Years. By the name of the place alone, it's going to be wild. Yes there vill be revelry, (revelations?), and stokededness. Huzzah! Also just so happens that Isaac and Yazid AND my new housemates had been planning to go there for ages. Just meant to be, I guess. It's all just meant to be. Magic in the air, my friends.
       Christmas was really nice as well. Bit of wine, cider, mana and Mother Nature with Nick whom I live with. Good to catch up with people back home and across the world and Mum called, too. She's looking well, rosy cheeked as always, haha what a go-getter! To all of you, season's best greetings. May you feast, love, drink, be merry and watch cricket. Just go out and spread the love; Feliz Navidad!

     

Base Camp

Why hello there, ladies and gentiles.
       Well I'm still in Calgary, and I have two jobs now. By day, I am working with a small company, playing sewer/stormwater cleaner's assistant. Basically I drive around in a truck, inspect manholes and walk/stand around. It's a pretty cruisy job and I don't mind it at all.
       By nights and on the weekends, I'm working at a Best Western doing some catering and bartending and whatnot for minimum wage. The pay is pretty lousy, but the hours are reasonable and the work pretty easy. Late nights though, considering I have to get out of bed at 5 every day. But it's money for jam, and as soon as I start getting these fortnightly pay cheques, I'll be on the way up good and proper. Plus I get to wear a bow-tie to work. Ridiculous how dapper I look at minimum wage.
       I have been through a pretty hectic period: breaking laptops, losing (and finding, thank Christ) passports, driver's license and banking fuckarounds, being broke, lounge-sleeping and worrying too much; but I have been killing it. Taking care of business and getting shit done. Constantly on the move, constantly busy. It's taking a bit of a toll no doubt, seeing as I'm always tired and cannot stop thinking, thinking, but I am taking some pretty good form into the Christmas period.
       The general plan I have right now is that I stay in Calgary until Christmas, stick it out with these jobs and pay off my car's rego and insurance and get it on the road. Still waiting on a license from QLD Transport, but I can't afford it yet, anyway -- I spent way too much money in Edmonton and BC. I should start getting decent cheques in a week's time, but until then I am still pretty skint. All the money in my Commonwealth account is now gone! Haha pretty standard Jimbo, but at least it has gotten me to the point where I am now making financial plans and budgeting myself and actually learning to watch my money. Valuable lessons here.
       After the New Year ticks over, I'm going back to Edmonton; I'm going to run around in a frenzy until I get an oil rig job and stick to that until April. This is where the big money is, and I'm really banking on it to work out if I'm to be a shot at the drive down south. Consequentially, it'll do me a bit of good to learn about the oil industry. There's some pretty tight parallels to the industry up here and coal in Queensland. All good knowledge for a journalist, eh.
       Back in Oz, Mikie is working like a bastard and looks like having a solid amount of money in the bank when he gets here at the end of february, so things are looking up for this trip. We are both going through all that unpleasant hard-working real-life shit that we have to to climb that metaphorical mountain and make this trip happen. We're going to make it. No doubt.
       Also I'm trying to fit in some snowboarding and San Francisco, but who knows when that will happen. Not before Christmas, but as far as I'm concerned still both definite. As far as the weather goes, it has been snowing from time to time, but it is an unusually warm start to winter. Minus 21 has come around a couple of times though (plus a bonus windchill to take it down to -28). Not really that fun. I don't mind the could though... acclimatising. So many layers and thermal pants. Huzzah. Snow is awesome.

Stairway to Heaven...

Bizarre times, the last few weeks. No doubt about it. Sad times, scared times, standard batshit-crazy times. On the same day that Zain gave me that van, now dubbed "The Grey Goose", Kylen went missing. She worked at the hostel in Edmonton, and over the two weeks or so prior, we had become pretty close. She was beautiful, smart, free and loved. An amazing artist. A bright spark burning at both ends. She told no-one of her sadness, hid it well. Not even those closest to her could tell. Many are those who will never forget her, but now she wanders free. I know that she will be looked after, and I wish her better luck in the next.
         In the week or so that has passed since that time, this ol' life o' mine's been a pretty mixed bag. Some really good times, three really awesome Halloween nights, some moments of real motivation and inspiration. Times of reflection, introspection. Depression, Faith and Fear. Always, always good, good friends. The constant stream of incredible people that is my life seems to have no end in sight, thank God, touch wood.
         I had to get out of Edmonton, escape the craziness and Armidale-meets-Hotel-California vibrations in the walls there. So, I said goodbye to all the remaining people and the Goose for a while for a shot at Calgary. The plan being to stay with my mate Isaac for a couple of weeks, get a couple of jobs and make some cash to get the car on the road by Christmas, before returning to Edmonton most likely in January to get into some of that oil rig big money dolla dolla bill to finance the impending spirit quest towards a Texan-style Independence Day, Ecuadorian Yage ceremonies 12/12, jungles beaches and fat cigars and all the rest.
         Problem is, as most of you know, for all of my Fidiculous/Rantastic ideas and, seemingly, blind fucking faith... I am more often than not the unknowing architect of my own demise. As I sat here tonight coughing up the phlegm and snot I earned through my stubborn refusal to let my thongs go until the day before the snow, it slowly dawned on me. Every little bit of "bad luck", every frustration and stick in the mud that seem to plague me half the time like a curse or a plague of annoying bees is, and pretty well has always been, MY OWN FAULT, the direct consequence of my own dumb actions. Particularly now, as I sit here jobless (though with two interviews pending, I have been flat out lately, mind), and dipping fingers into my last thousand dollars.  I've been pointing fingers and getting all down and dejected and pulling my hair out and wondering "why, why, why". Now I know why.
         Ahhhh... The first step is Acceptance, right? ...Ah-Hem.. I now hereby Accept that it is My Fault that I am in this rather absurd position right now, 5 months left in Canada with the following Mountain to ascend: as follows;
* Driver's License/Commbank seemingly endless bullshit, * Paying for, Registering, Insuring and fixing The Grey Goose, * Securing at least three (3) jobs * Visiting San Francisco * Snowboard trips and Benjamin Jeffree * ....Annnnd saving a cheeky 12 grand or so to get me down to South America.

        5 months to become a man. A man Takes Care of Business. I have some serious Resposibilities now. To Zain, to The Mayor, hell, to fucking Everybody who has gotten me this far. I do happen have a good plan though, and I'm sticking to it. All I gotta do is get in amongst it, get to work and make it happen. I've got this, people. No doubt.

Kylen Groenveld

1991 - 2011

R.I.P.
I'm sorry.